What is SOCIALITIS?
It can be acute or chronic, but in either form it is the maximum use of physical energy by an individual as a result of their need to satisfy excessive amounts of social engagements either by desire or perceived necessity.
What causes it?
If I have to answer this then you sir, are not smart. Yes, I meant to say sir. I will however expand upon causes in addition to the obvious. The social events themselves are not what cause socialitis, but rather the root or core of the problem of how the event came to be.
~ Other people being born, for example, is a major cause for socialitis. If people weren't born I wouldn't feel inclined to celebrate their birthdays. Simple.
~ Holidays that are completely made up. I mean, I get the main holidays, but there are things that we, in America, really have no reason to celebrate.
~ Text messages. Let's be honest, calling everyone to invite to a last minute social outing (or inning) can be daunting. Now, with text messaging you can invite 72 people to the socialocity of your choice in a matter of seconds.
~ Facebook, Myspace, and Evite: For obvious reasons
What are the symptoms?
Lack of sleep, free time, and sometimes sanity. An affinity for the snooze button. Frequent ATM withdrawals, gas fill ups, and forgetfulness. Also, the inability to sleep in or go to sleep early. The development of dependencies on Red Bull, coffee, and other such energy boosters.
Who is at risk for Socialitis? (a very serious affliction)
Any person who is a self proclaimed "people person," has lots of friends (they were all born ya know), is part of a large family, cannot and will not miss an important or not important event, loves the holidays that we celebrate for no actual reason and the ones with purpose just as much, will always find something to do during their down time even if it was scheduled as a means of breaking free of the socialitis.
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As you can see this is a very serious problem, an epidemic. You or someone you know might be suffering from Socialitis.
I LOVE holidays that exist for no reason, I don't know what down time is, Red Bull may be the best invention ever, I can no longer sleep in, and I have chronic SOCIALITIS.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
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2 comments:
i used to have socialitis. one known cure is to move across the country and have no friends for an extended period of time. it might be like chicken pox because i have not caught it again. people with a mild case of socialitis might, though. they should be careful... it's much worse if you get it later in life.
Hi, my name is Liz and I have socialitis.
See you in three months when the next opening in my social calender occurs.
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