So, I went to the gym tonight. Planning on getting back in the swing of things. Let me set the scene. I was at L.A. Fitness. For those of you who may not be familiar with this gym or gyms in general it was more ridiculous than teen night at Cactus Moon or if you're from out of town *insert random dance club that allows teens on special nights*. Anyway, so I jammed my headphones into my ears to ensure that I could judge those around me with a soundtrack. Things were going great.
I see some typical macho guys...grunting of course, which, by the way, knock that shit off. Wear a muzzle. I don't care. Whatever you need to do, sir, to mute yourself. But this is pretty standard of the gym. Nothing new that I'm reporting. Another pretty standard gym observation is that at 7:30p.m. on a weekday literally EVERY machine is taken. I had to shove a baby out of my way to race a dude to a machine. Still, nothing out of the ordinary.
So, I'm on the bike... kicking ass and taking names (I might add)... and something wafts into the air. I know what you're thinking, someone blew ass? Nay. Something delightful is in the air. It is distinct. I am completely certain I smelled kettle corn. I chuckled to myself. Then I was kind of annoyed, how dare this person bring the delightful smell of roasted kettlish corn into the gym. Kind of inconsiderate if you ask me. So laughter, anger, then I'm in ponder mode. How does one smell like kettle corn? I came up with two ways:
1) they are sweating it through their pores.
Okay the street fair is in town. They sell you those ginormous bags. Someone clearly has downed 17 lbs of kettle corn and is now spilling it out through their pores. One, I'm glad you got to the gym chubbo, two, thanks for not smelling like something horrible, three, still kind of chapped that I am now fantasizing about scrumptious treats.
-or-
2) someone was wearing kettle corn flavored-smelling perfume
This option is just rude. I mean you might as well rub your body in a steak dinner and then hang out with all the chubsters trying to get healthy. Very inconsiderate. Also, kettle corn...really... that's your perfume of choice. I mean, it smells nice, but how about starbursts, french fries, or CHIPOTLE! Now that is delicious. I'm just sayin.
6 comments:
Instead of grunting and groaning when I lift weights, I find it's more motivating to shout things like "Oh yeah!" "Feel the burn!" and "you go girl!"
Again, I re-iterate: HOW much kettle corn do you have to eat to exude a kettle corn aroma from your pores!?!?!
My Gym Grievances (and subsequently why I refrain from visiting more often):
-The 80 year old man in the bandana who would kick my ass in a decathalon or a dropping it low contest. Doesn't matter, he wins.
-Spandex, yikes!
-People with 7-11 Thirstbusters on their machines. That better be water because if they are drinking soda while working out I will puke at the thought.
-Women wearing dangly earrings on cardio machines. Seriously? No really.
-Bright T-shirts. Electric yellow is distracting to my breathing, and why are you so close to me?
-And finally, machines that require any remedial reading to use/operate. Not interested in a mind workout, I am at the gym afterall.
I think you need to propose those alternative fragrances to Lancome. You're on to something with that chipotle, I'm tellin you. Starburst is a close second in my book.
Ohhhh... CURRY! lol
I think it may have been Kay---she's been known to live off that stuff...
I'm always intrigued when the woman next to me on the treadmill smells like a cocktail waitress and is wearing a ton of makeup.
Perhaps the kettle corn aroma was coming from someone that smuggled it in and was enjoying a post workout snack in the lockers.
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