I was recently inspired to write this when I began lying about my age. . .to be younger. I mean, it may have been to get a discount on my lift ticket for snowboarding, but lied to be younger nonetheless.
The term geriatric may be a stretch here, but I thought it would be comical to compose a cynical dissection of indicators that you may be geriatric, old, past your prime, or simply not a crazy party animal anymore. I asked friends of mine to contribute to the hilarity...and comtribute they did.
You know you're geriatric when:
~ You sleep in a sweater that reaches your knees. -KT
~ You're sore the next day from bowling. -KT
~ You're still hungover on Wednesday from drinking on Saturday. KT
~ You start counting how much fiber you've consumed per day. -KT
~ Everyone behind you honks and passes you on the highway. -KT
~ You Enjoy grocery shopping on a Saturday night. -KT
~ You refer to young people as "today's youth".
~ You're appalled when asked to leave the house past 9p.m. on a weeknight.
. . . you're equally offended by the invite to be out past 10p.m. on a weekend.
~ You say things like "I miss college" while you look through your facebook photos that you've set to private for fear that your employer might get ahold of them.
. . . Even worse, you don't miss college.
~ You get the Calcium boost at Jamba Juice because the impending doom of osteoperosis seems so close.
~ You can no longer understand rap lyrics
~ You go to the eye doctor far more frequestly than you go to the bar. -KM
~ You curl up to watch your dvr'd American Idol which you had to tape so you could go to your book club. -SB
~ 8:30PM feels like 2AM. -JB & -LM
~ You refer to technology as hard.
Feel free to contribute via comment. I will give a PRIZE to the person who makes me laugh the hardest.
7 comments:
You might be a geriatric if...your name is Liz Mascot.
When you want to put clothes on ALL the teenage girls you see--jp
I'm like 5 times your age, stop complaining!
when.... you go to matinee movies to avoid the crowd AND to save money. more KT. KT will be celebrating her 60th this year....
This list actually made me feel young because besides the one specific reference (lol)....none really apply to me! :) Now I just have to get rid of the gray hair. Wait does using lol make you geriatric?
when you NEED coffee to start your day
When you carry tums in your purse
When you go to 4th avenue and watch the 21 year olds drink themselves into a stuper and remember the good ol days!
When you use coupons at a restaurant!
I often find myself thinking "what the hell is wrong with these kids?"
I have to admit I'm kind of elitist when it comes to those of us born in the 1983-1985 range. I say we rule.
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